Fragmented

I hardly could press publish on any post lately, because when I start writing, it goes as if I'm sorting out my thoughts and end up writing something with you reading it in mind and I just don't feel at home.. I used to write freely, I feel very kicked out from my own self, space and being, I can see me thinking, writing, living while I'm not.. I'm not there.. It's been a while. ******* I can't accept pain for people I know in person, it's torture for me, while they are like all other beings who will get sick and go through aging, my brain just can't cope with it. I don't accept it and I don't accept losing a loved one. ******* I have a lot of insecurities & fears, who doesnt? I know for a fact that I can be any opposite/ elevated version of me if I want to. whichever way I tread, I will grow. progress is inevitable, but know that your fears can grow too, it can encircle you, and stop you from being so many things you have the core for. a little courage. Just some courage. ******* when visiting the sick, support bringing salty treats, fruit basket instead of Arabic desserts ******* I'm too tired & I want to sleep ******* I love you dad, I love you mom, I love u sister ******** night ☆彡